Mary grew up defiant and rebellious. Her teachers called her difficult, stupid, and bad-tempered. Her schoolmates ridiculed her and she withdrew into herself. Taking therapy many years later, she would describe herself as being lonely, confused, angry, scared, and depressed.
Today, Mary shares her experiences publicly with many of the children from her community telling them to speak out when anyone -- even if it be a member of their family touches them in their private parts. Silence, she says, is supposed to be golden. It isn't always, she urges. Nor is abuse. When abuse happens, you should speak out. And she goes on to describe her experiences.
I found Mary's story particularly disturbing. Most of the other stories that I have heard about or read -- well, they have occurred to others and seem to happen in some safe place 'somewhere else'. Mary, however, is a respected trusted person in my community, and I know her well. I know members of her family and find it hard to believe that they would ever victimize vulnerable and innocent...
but, then again, many of us are unwilling to accept the evils of the world. Mary's mother refused to believe her. And Mary felt betrayed as a result.
My own daughter is almost four years old. I would never want her to go through any one of the horrors that Mary endured. Watching or reading related media shows on the subject; I have often discussed them with others since I have a human interest stance in the subject. The media, at times, covers the subject well; at other times it fails -- depending, of course, on the reporter. The better the reporter, the more vivid and urgent the issue. And there can never be enough coverage of the subject.
One thing I have learned from the media is to use Megan's Law website (http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/). This lists designated registered sex offenders in California. It has ethical questions of its own and certainly was I a repentant sex offender; I would no way want my name on there. But then I want my daughter protected. At all costs. I would never want her to become another Mary.
